OFFICIAL BLOG

Fieldnotes

Top Stepmother Concern: "His Ex is Making Our Lives Hell!"

Published by Wednesday Martin

When I asked about your top concerns as a woman with stepchildren, this one came up again and again: a partner's ex who is angry, undermining, and intrusive. Bottom line: this behavior indicates first and foremost that she is unreconciled to her ex-husband's repartnership. And you are a convenient target for her wrath. Now what?


What Do You Think? What the Divorced Mom Has to Say

Published by Wednesday Martin
What your husband's ex wants you to know about being divorced mom...
What your husband's ex wants you to know about being divorced mom...


Thanks to all of for your very moving comments/ letters to your partners' exes and for reading my guest post, "What your child's stepmom wants you to know about her life" on the No One's the Bitch web site.


What Would You Like Your Husband's Ex to Know About Your Life?

Published by Wednesday Martin
Do you wish your husband's ex could have a better sense of what you struggle with?
Do you wish your husband's ex could have a better sense of what you struggle with?

I have a guest post on Jennifer Newcomb Marine and Carole Marine's No One's the Bitch Website today. As you know, I strongly feel that women don't need the additional pressure of "fixing it" with hubby's ex. Civility is often a difficult enough goal, and we need to be very careful about siphoning energy away from self-care and tending to our marriage, given how depleting stepmothering is, and how vulnerable remarriages with kids are to divorce. In the spirit of engineering the kind of civility that can make everyone's life easier, and in the hopes of fostering mutual understanding, here's my post.


Who's the Bi*ch?

Published by Wednesday Martin
Tune in to Dr. Phil on Tuesday Dec 1 to hear Jennifer Newcomb Marine and Carol Marine discuss evolving from Mother/Stepmother enemies to friends
Tune in to Dr. Phil on Tuesday Dec 1 to hear Jennifer Newcomb Marine and Carol Marine discuss evolving from Mother/Stepmother enemies to friends


There's a new cultural pressure in town — to befriend your ex's wife, or your husband's ex. As you might know from reading my posts, I feel strongly that any woman married to a guy with kids and an ex should feel free to just say no to this pressure — to focus on her marriage and her own mental health and adjustment, given how depleting and decentering the role of stepmother can be and usually is.


A Divorced Dad Falls in Love — and Builds a Wall

Published by Wednesday Martin

Hi Readers, You know how I love Martin Babits, L.C.S.W., and author of The Middle Ground: A Couple's Guide to Renewing Your Relationship (http://www.amazon.com/Power-Middle-Ground-Renewing-Relationship/dp/1591026628/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=books&qid;=1256606628&sr;=8-1). Marty is a divorced dad, and here's what he has to say about a recent very important project — building a wall in his apartment once things got serious with his partner. The wall is going up today! Read the piece — and then leave a comment letting Martin know what you think of what he's doing:


Izzy, Childless Stepmoms Chat, No One's the Bitch

Published by Wednesday Martin

My stepdaughter would deem the title of this post totally random. And it sort of is. But there is a deeper logic, sort of: these are the ladies and places I want to call to your attention — and thank.


Demi and Ashton, Cozy with Bruce, Go to His Wedding

Published by Wednesday Martin

I already said I'm not apologizing for my love of Star magazine. Ok? It has been a valuable research tool, allowing me to keep up with what is supposedly going on between Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, and Bruce Willis all these last years. And to thereby track our national obsession with what I will call the Overly Cozy Divorce.