What women with stepchildren can't relate to what Pema Chodron writes: "The saddest thing of all is how we cheat ourselves of the present moment."

Many of our stepmothering dilemmas are beyond our control — stressors abound in a repartnership with a man with children. But our responses to stress are, thankfully, something we can take charge of.

What part of your day is given over to ruminating over the past — the way his children and/or ex mistreated you or him, for example — or worrying about what may happen in the future? (What will his daughter's weekend visit be like this time? What horrible thing will his ex wife do to undermine it? Etc.)? How might choosing to focus on living in the present moment help you and improve your marriage or partnership?