OFFICIAL BLOG

Fieldnotes

Gay Until Labor Day: Stretching Female Sexuality in the Hamptons

Published by Wednesday Martin

Anthropologists and primatologists tell us that environment and ecology are variables that really matter when it comes to how we lead our lives, including our sex lives. We evolved as flexible social and sexual strategists. In some contexts, for example, humans are polyandrous while in others, they're polygynous. Here's a piece on how one group of women "play" in one particular ecological niche, the Hamptons, in the summer...


How do you do it?

Published by Wednesday Martin
Does this symbol scare you?
Does this symbol scare you?

Ah, that hot, vexed topic: money. Divvying it up can be tricky in any partnership. Now throw in some kids from a previous marriage, and it becomes more complicated still. Merged? Partially merged? Totally separate bank accounts? Peggy Nolan and Erin Erickson tackle this topic with their guest Kat Nelson-Reid, a stepmom and financial planner, on tonight's Stepmom's Toolbox Radio Show at 8 pm EST. To tune in, click on this link:


Susan Swanson's Radio Show on Relationships — Monday July 5!

Published by Wednesday Martin
Not just another pretty face — Susan Swanson really gets it
Not just another pretty face — Susan Swanson really gets it

Sure, it's a long holiday weekend. BBQs, fireworks...and for some of us in stepfamilies, stress. "Coming together" can be fraught when it's a yours, mine, and ours situation as in a remarriage or repartnership with kids. That's why Susan Swanson's Monday July 5 radio show is so timely. Check out the list of upcoming shows too. Susan is the founder of the Stepfamily Center of Los Angeles, a gifted and experienced therapist — and has walked the stepmother walk!


The Dad Effect: A Book for and About Fathers that You're Going to Love

Published by Wednesday Martin
How cute is this father/son shot?
How cute is this father/son shot?


Like a lot of books for and about stepmothers, books for fathers and books about fatherhood can be a little...trite. And Hallmark card-ish. Or lite. They're either "funny" or "self-help-y." Which is fine, if that's what you want. But if you want a really comprehensive, comparative look at fatherhood, if you want answers to the questions, "What happens to men when they have kids? How does it actually affect them?" you will love a book called Fatherhood: Evolution and Human Paternal Behavior. Don't be put off by the wonky title. Yes, it's wonky, but this book is also accessible, fun, and fascinating.


Boundaries 101: Lessons for Stepmothers by Mary Kelly-Williams

Published by Wednesday Martin
This makes it look so simple
This makes it look so simple

Today I'm running a special guest post by Mary Kelly-Williams, MA, a therapist and stepmother in Boulder, CO about boundaries. You need them if you're a woman with stepkids, but sometimes it's hard to know how to maintain them, how to assert them, for fear of being disliked or perceived as wicked. Here's Mary on how and why it's important to have your boundaries in the stepfamily, and protect them. Otherwise, you'll likely find yourself exhausted, depleted, and resentful. Have a read...and leave a comment!


Top Stepmother Concern: "His Ex is Making Our Lives Hell!"

Published by Wednesday Martin

When I asked about your top concerns as a woman with stepchildren, this one came up again and again: a partner's ex who is angry, undermining, and intrusive. Bottom line: this behavior indicates first and foremost that she is unreconciled to her ex-husband's repartnership. And you are a convenient target for her wrath. Now what?


These are a few of my favorite shrinks...

Published by Wednesday Martin
The doctor is in. Now you just have to find her or him.
The doctor is in. Now you just have to find her or him.


As a follow-up to Kela Price's recent guest post about how to find a therapist to help you and your remarriage/partnership with stepkids, a couple of other things that might interest you as we wend our way toward Top Stepmother Concern #3 in the next few days.