When our family moved from the West Village to the Upper East Side in 2004, seeking proximity to Central Park, my in-laws and a good public school, I thought it unlikely that the neighborhood would hold any big surprises. For many years I had immersed myself — through interviews, reviews of the anthropological literature and participant-observation — in the lives of women from the Amazon basin to sororities at a Big Ten school. I thought I knew from foreign.
Winter holidays allow us to be affiliative and pro-social--anthropology's words for connected and friendly. Here's how the tribe I study in Manhattan does it--and why.
Peaches Geldof, beautiful skinny mother of two. Dead person. Coincidence?
Peaches Geldof died, possibly of starvation. Maybe something else was going on, too. But her death, which leaves her family bereft and two little boys motherless, is a springboard for thinking about high pressure, glamorous motherhood and the standards that stress women with kids and even put them in danger. Messing up your electrolytes can give you a heart attack. Did you know that?
Is pledging to give away your wealth the new conspicuous consumption?
What does giving up drinking have to do with billionaires who pledge to give away half their wealth? Or the Kwaikiutl potlatch ceremony in which chiefs set their most prized possessions on fire or give them away for show?
Our Dutch friend’s daughter wore this dress when we met up at the bar at the Mark Hotel. People were really surprised to see the kids there — we have created separate spheres for adults and kids in the industrialized West. How could anyone fail to notice or admire my friend’s daughter’s dress and sparkly headband?
There is so much I love about this photo. As the mother of two boys, I swoon over everything pink, sparkly and girlie. Fortunately my youngest son used to love dress up, including princess attire. And I have twin god daughters. As to this photo, a little context: a Dutch friend was in town and we suggested a meet up at the bar at the Mark Hotel. I love the Mark Hotel. The location on E. 77th St is perfect as far as I'm concerned — the "near east side" is easy for a West Sider and gives the necessary feeling of being out of one's own neighborhood without ranging really far. I've lived at the Mark twice with my kids, each time during apartment renovations. My friend Isabel is the head concierge there, and they always take nice care of our family. (I spent one of the happiest Christmases of my life at the Mark, covered in hives, baking Christmas cookies on trays Jean-Georges Vongerichten let me borrow — the sugar cookies came out smelling like fish, which was entirely Jean-Georges's fault, but he ate them and very politely pronounced them delicious anyway, as did everyone else we shared them with--but that's another story)
Louise Mensch, the former Tory MP, is something of a lightning rod for controversy in Britain. But in New York, where Mensch lives under the radar, she talks to author Dr Wednesday Martin about her forthcoming book, Beauty, which naturally leads to a discussion about beauty overseas and here, ambition, power and playground politics.
If you live in an “attended” building in Manhattan–one with doormen and elevator operators –and even if you don’t, you are tipping big time right about now.
The holidays are here. In Manhattan, many members of the tribe I study go away on a "winter break vacation." These vacations come in two varieties: ski and warm. Popular ski destinations include Aspen, Jackson Hole, Deer Valley, Sun Valley and St. Moritz. Popular Caribbean and warm weather winter break destinations include Anguilla, Turks & Caicos, Half Moon Resort in Jamaica and the One & Only Ocean Club in the Bahamas. If you are a glutton for punishment you might take your kids to Atlantis. Some people in the tribe I study do a "double" vacation over the winter or spring holiday — a week of warm weather vacation somewhere in the Caribbean and a week of skiing. Talk about over the top. Members of the tribe of Manhattan parents I study are currently packing, packing, packing and happy, happy, happy. At parties, everyone seems more relaxed and friendly than usual. But they're still also busy as can be. As any parent (let's get real, it's the mothers who do it) knows, it's not easy to pack yourself and your kids.
Across the country, it's holiday card time. These cards often highlight family and particularly children. Usually the card itself is a family portrait, or a portrait of the kids. Often there are numerous photos of the kids on a single card.
It’s open season on mothers. Especially ones in the spotlight.
I used to think our national sport was football. Then I had children. And learned very quickly that in fact, our national sport is judging mothers. It starts early in the process. From the moment I conceived, it seemed, everybody had an opinion about what I ate, what I wore, what I should do. Much of it was well-intentioned--advice about how to handle morning sickness was something I really appreciated. I did NOT appreciate being told by one woman that "I was always too busy to have morning sickness." Nor did I appreciate child birth educators telling me that having an epidural would make me a bad mother.
In the industrialized West children are “priceless but useless.” We value them but don’t expect them to contribute to the household in any real way. Mine were surprised when I told them to rake the backyard.
Developmentalist Jean Piaget famously observed that "play is the work of children." But in some places, work is the work of children. And that's not a bad thing.
