September 20, 2013

Fieldnotes: Baby CZ Opening and Childhood on the Upper East Side

Published by Wednesday Martin

These girls came to the store opening with their mothers. In Manhattan, children accompany their parents just about everywhere. I saw a six-year-old boy with his dad at a Wagner opera once.

3 beauties. Mom of three & Baby CZ owner Carolina Zapf with customer and baby displayed in a front carrier. Continuous physical contact like this might give baby Sebastian a leg up in neuromotor development

The clothing was hung on the walls like art in some places. Here is a compelling still-life of Carnegie Hill girlhood

Carolina displayed models from some of her fashion shows on the walls. Here’s a gorgeous example…nice boots!

There was champagne on a silver tray. The opening of CZ baby was something like an art opening crossed with a baby shower

Eating together is a powerful ritual that can enhance social connection and bond strangers. The tea cake was delicious and so was the candy.

Increasingly, parents I study want their children to have toys and objects that are aesthetically pleasing and unique, almost like works of art. The idea is to enhance your household with your child’s playthings

One woman who attended the store’s opening had this incredible chrome Lamborghini. Well, her husband did. In a walking city like Manhattan, cars are about identity, not just transportation

Like luxury cars and handbags, status strollers are part of how the tribe I study rolls. It’s also how we demonstrate, as a culture, how highly we value our children. This SilverCross is the Bentley of strollers…

The tribe I study believes reading to children is one of a parent’s most important responsibilities. We place a high value on early literacy. Many parents enjoy reading books from their own childhoods to their kids

Whimsical details set Carolina’s store apart and make you feel you are purchasing a mood and a certain take on childhood and parenting as much as you are a sweater

Thank goodness some people know what a toy elephant is for! Spontaneous play is conspicuously absent from the lives of many children in the tribe I study

Mothers I study are under pressure to balance care for their offspring, work other than mothering and self maintenance. My chic friend Eve MacSweeney resolves the conundrum in Dries and Celine

We evolved as cooperative breeders. Today, in cities where women are isolated, girlfriends and hired help are “fictive kin”–and powerful allies in the labor intensive business of childrearing

Do you “need” a mink barrette? No. But if you live in a state of ecological release, you are likely to make intense investments of time, energy and resources in your child

Worldwide, parents invest heavily in their children when ecological circumstances are right. This Thai baby is irresistibly adorned, increasing the likelihood that others will lend a hand and protect him

The Manhattan tribe I study lives in a state of ecological release. Basically, that means life is good. As is the case for the fortunate of the industrialized world, subsistence is a given — my tribe are not struggling to get enough calories for themselves and their kids to avoid starvation, not by a long shot. They are not at war (even when their country is). There is little competition for abundant resources. And they face no predators (now that Bernie Madoff is in jail).

Life history theory tells us that in such environments and under such circumstances, parents are able to invest heavily in their offspring. Beyond just provisioning our children, we lavish them with love and attention and affection in most cases. Particularly in cultures where the birthrate is low, there is broad social support for parents and celebration of children. In many towns in Spain, for example, where birthrates are at historic ebbs, you will find boy and girl babies alike turned out splendidly in ruffles and lace, propped up in their strollers for a nightly proud display in the plaza mayor. This promenade is an every-evening opportunity for entire communities to admire and feel invested in "their" children. Similar baby stroller displays take place in small towns in Greece and Italy where birthrates are also extraordinarily low.

I thought of the value we place on children, how we raise them, and how childrearing practices are a telling lens onto a culture when I did some recent fun fieldwork — attending the opening of Carolina Zapf's store, Baby CZ, on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. To be specific, Baby CZ is located in Carnegie Hill, a boutique (versus chain store)-heavy swath of Madison Avenue (and Park and Fifth and Lexington) that stretches from the high 80s to the mid 90s.

The area is considered quirky (for the Upper East Side) and extraordinarily welcoming of families and mothers of young children. Close to Brick Church School, the 92nd St. Y Nursery School, and Spence, the area is notably relaxed and kid & mom friendly compared to lower Madison (which is all high end designer stores and fancy restaurants where you would no sooner bring a toddler than you would wear Prada from 1999). In Carnegie Hill after school drop off, you will see Lulu Lemon-clad moms having a coffee at Yura. Later they might check out Blue Tree, The Corner Bookstore (yes! an independent bookstore in Manhattan!) or now, Carolina's store. Have a look at the photo album above.

In other childhood news, ISAAGNY (the independent aka private schools association of Manhattan, basically) announced it would junk the ERB, or Educational Records Bureau test. It's about freaking time. All over Manhattan, parents of preschoolers are jubilant. Their kids don't have to take the ERB!! This standardized test, administered to four-year-olds in advance of their parents applying to private school Kindergartens on their behalf, gave us all nervous breakdowns for years. A modified IQ test, it could quash your dreams of Horace Mann and Brearley in the time it takes to say "only the 90th percentile."

So many people were tutoring their kids, the test is no longer a real measure of anything, except how well the kid was coached, school administrators and admissions directors grouse. Probably true, but there's more to the story. "Parents should just calm down," about the test, parents were told. How disingenuous, when so much hangs in the balance. Parents were ruining everything by prepping their kids, one school director even wrote in an educational journal. Really?

You're surprised and disappointed that parents with resources are trying to engineer good outcomes for their kids, and maximize the likelihood that their kids not only survive, but thrive? Then clearly, you know nothing of human evolution.