Women who have an issue with #metoo — notice that among other things it’s a generational and political (progressive/conservative) divide. And much of it, when you read closely, is a version of “WE put up with it & we are ok so stop being crybabies/victims.“
There has been a cultural shift. Consider that women younger than you are not stupid, “too PC” or dead set on seeing themselves as “victims” as so many 2nd/3rd-wave feminist critics of #metoo assert. Let’s stop accusing these (often younger than us) women of false consciousness basically condescending & imposing a dated grid/worldview. Big difference/shift = 70s/80s/90s workplaces that value brawn and reinforce masculine physical strength as privilege=dying out. Yes, YOU had to tolerate masculinist paradigm with “ass pinching is the price of admission.”
We get it. More fundamental changes follow from workplace shift. 2nd/3rd-wave era feminists need to keep up. The very concepts of gender, the dyad, & agency have shifted as well. Basically way too many feminists in our 40s+ need to stop acting like We Know Better and ask ourselves what anyone gains from allies who started the movement saying, these young women are going TOO FAR! When you go on about “the death of flirtation” or how “crazy and unsexy” consent is, what is your actual concern? Has the culture changed too much for you?
To the 2nd/3rd wave era feminists lately being all, “Our way was better. Toughen up, little girls, you’re being babies/killing romance/witchhunting.” Nope. They aren’t & WE DIDN’T FINISH THE JOB. Stop acting like we did.
What do neoconservatives and some 2nd/3rd wavers have against consent? Is it too comprehensive a cultural shift? And the concern that they are “making us all victims”—do you think YOU weren’t or aren’t systematically held back by practices less overt than assault and baldly illegal discrimination?
In the end, wondering: how much of this is established women doing the work of status quo, framing harassment and more subtle forms of misogyny as price of admission to “real world.” “I endured awful initiation into womanhood, so will you.” Yes, we CAN expect men to ASK. And LISTEN. And read non/verbal cues. Yes, men CAN think and hear when they have erections. Let’s listen to young women and learn to expect and feel entitled to more. They aren’t making us all victims and Victorians. They’re moving the culture.
See the Twitter thread