Today is National Stepfamily Day. Many thanks to Christy Borgeld, founder of National Stepfamily Day, for taking the time and putting the energy into convincing our government to recognize the centrality of stepfamilies in the U.S. today.

The woman with stepchildren is, in many ways, the heart and hub of the stepfamily. Her adjustment will largely determine whether the family makes it or not. And yet the stepmother is also the stepfamily member whose needs often come last, if they are recognized at all.

Today seems like an especially good time, then, to repost "A Stepmother's Bill of Rights," first posted several years ago, anonymously, on the internet. Since then it has been creating controversy (especially point #5) and fueling conversations.

A STEPMOTHER'S BILL OF RIGHTS
1. Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.
2. I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.
3. People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.
4. I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.
5. I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.
6. I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.
7. I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.
8. Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.
9. I will never be treated as an “outsider” in my own home.
10. My husband and stepchildren must treat me with respect.