I'm giving away a free, autographed copy of a great book!

Today I'm running a special guest post by Mary Kelly-Williams, MA, a therapist and stepmother in Boulder, CO about boundaries. You need them if you're a woman with stepkids, but sometimes it's hard to know how to maintain them, how to assert them, for fear of being disliked or perceived as wicked. Here's Mary on how and why it's important to have your boundaries in the stepfamily, and protect them. Otherwise, you'll likely find yourself exhausted, depleted, and resentful. Have a read...and leave a comment!

You might know from reading my blog and/or my book that I tend to look to sociology, human behavioral ecology, history, and even literary theory when I'm trying to explain what happens in stepfamilies and why women with stepkids think, feel, and act the way we do. I don't think psychology alone can adequately explain our culture's deep suspicion of and antipathy toward stepmothers. And I don't believe that we can "fix" a stepmother's situation by exploring her feelings in isolation, or focusing on what she alone is bringing to the table. Stepfamily systems are complex, everyone plays a role in the difficulty that often reigns, and too often, a stepmother who is demonized by the kids and her husband or partner as "the problem" feels herself further demonized by therapy that focuses on "her issues," as if those issues are not linked to actual dysfunction within the couple and stepfamily.

As I've been giving a few talks over the last weeks and reading your comments and emails, I'm getting a sense of what's keeping you up nights.

I'll be giving a talk called "What do women with stepchildren want?" sponsored by the Associates Lecture Series of the Training Institute for Mental Health on Friday April 9th at 7:30 p.m. Hope you can make it. Cost is $15 and the address is 115 W. 27th S., 4th Floor, New York City, 10001. For more information click on this link: