Did you ever confide in your best girlfriend about some aspect of stepfamily life that was driving you insane — rejecting, rude stepkids come to mind — only to find her looking at you like you were the Wicked Queen from Disney's Snow White? It really, really hurts when a trusted confidante doesn't get where you're coming from — or, even worse, judges you. Jacque Fletcher has taken on the task of writing up just how to be a good and supportive friend to a woman with stepkids. Pass it along to anyone you think needs to know! Also check out the podcast in which Jacque and I dish about what a good girlfriend shouldn't say to her stepmom pal: "Don't take it personally!"

This tip is born from the concerns of a number of readers who have been emailing me about holiday worries, dramas, and tribulations. It seems that the holidays can bring out the worst when it comes to charged relations with exes; "visitation shenanigans" as one reader puts it; and unresolved issues between us and stepkinder.

Those people out in Boulder have all the fun. They get to live near the mountains, do workshops at the Naropa Institute — and get their heads adjusted by Mary Kelly-Williams. On December 15 Mary hosted a Stepmonster get-together, offering women with stepchildren company, sympathy, and insights galore. I'm told it was eye-opening and fun. Wish I could have been there. Thanks Mary for all you do for stepfamilies, and to everyone who was there! Anyone who is interested in Mary's fantastic work can check out the great advice on her website

Please check out my newest piece for the Huffington Post on stepfamilies and the 2010 U.S. Census. Without accurate numbers, there won't be enough research — or support.