Dr. Rachelle Katz has a new radio show on Stepfamily Central and I was lucky to be her first guest. We talked about the word "blended" and the need for public support for and a public education campaign about what stepfamilies are really like. Hope you will have a listen...
Maybe. On Valentine's Day, remember one key to a successful repartnership with children: prioritizing and nurturing the couple bond. Remarriages or reparnterships with children are remarkably fragile and rates of divorce and dissolution are high. Child-centric parenting and step parenting doesn't help. Too often, couples with the best intentions focus on the happiness of the step/kids of any age to such an extent, they forget to pay attention to their own. Turn that dynamic around today and every day.
I have heard from a number of you about Judith Graham's story in the Dec 24th issue of the New York Times health section. This is the kind of story the media loves, about "co-wives" who get along great and become BFFs. Sure, it's a nice and heartwarming story of one woman caring for another. Unfortunately, the media's fixation with these types of stories about "the ex wife and the new wife who are best pals," and the readers' comments — "Most divorced people I know stay friends after," etc. — naively and damagingly imply that repartnership with children is "easy" if everybody is just "nice." And that, if you don't have your parnter's ex for the holidays (or to your wedding), and if you aren't "close," there is something "wrong" with you.
It's holiday time. And when we think holidays, we think family. Of course today, "family" is increasingly likely to refer to stepfamilies, the fastest growing domestic arrangement in the US and Great Britain.
All over Manhattan, parents are applying to ongoing private and independent schools. It's an anxious rite of passage because we all want to get our children the very best education we can...and nothing is more stressful than feeling that others are evaluating your child. I wrote about the ongoing school application process for psychologytoday.com. Hope you will have a look... and leave a comment.