OFFICIAL BLOG

Fieldnotes

Happy Mother's Day

Published by Wednesday Martin
photo courtesy of Katharine Moser
photo courtesy of Katharine Moser

Happy Mother's Day! This is a photo from the Church Rock archeological site in Shasta County, California, a site where the native Wintu people lived and performed various religious and cultural ceremonies. The vulva sculpture was part of a birth altar. Thanks to my  stepdaughter Katharine Moser, an archeologist in training, for this image.


What We're Doing — the Ring in New York

Published by Wednesday Martin
If you steal my cab and make me late for pilates I will kill you
If you steal my cab and make me late for pilates I will kill you

Have you ever done The Ring? Or considered it? You should. And not just because the Metropolitan Opera needs you. The Ring is mythic and epic, yes. But it's also about couples and families, parents and children, love and ambition and betrayal.


Interview on Stepfamily Central

Published by Wednesday Martin
Talking through stepfamily dynamics with Rachelle Katz...
Talking through stepfamily dynamics with Rachelle Katz...

Dr. Rachelle Katz has a new radio show on Stepfamily Central and I was lucky to be her first guest. We talked about the word "blended" and the need for public support for and a public education campaign about what stepfamilies are really like. Hope you will have a listen...


Happily Ever After...

Published by Wednesday Martin
Today and everyday. Especially if there are step/kids!
Today and everyday. Especially if there are step/kids!


Maybe. On Valentine's Day, remember one key to a successful repartnership with children: prioritizing and nurturing the couple bond. Remarriages or reparnterships with children are remarkably fragile and rates of divorce and dissolution are high. Child-centric parenting and step parenting doesn't help. Too often, couples with the best intentions focus on the happiness of the step/kids of any age to such an extent, they forget to pay attention to their own. Turn that dynamic around today and every day.


Piling the pressure on women in stepfamilies this holiday season....

Published by Wednesday Martin
Don't let ridiculous expectations tangle you up this holiday season
Don't let ridiculous expectations tangle you up this holiday season

I have heard from a number of you about Judith Graham's story in the Dec 24th issue of the New York Times health section. This is the kind of story the media loves, about "co-wives" who get along great and become BFFs. Sure, it's a nice and heartwarming story of one woman caring for another. Unfortunately, the media's fixation with these types of stories about "the ex wife and the new wife who are best pals," and the readers' comments — "Most divorced people I know stay friends after," etc. — naively and damagingly imply that repartnership with children is "easy" if everybody is just "nice." And that, if you don't have your parnter's ex for the holidays (or to your wedding), and if you aren't "close," there is something "wrong" with you.