I recently posted a piece on my blog that summarizes the research on how and why friendship is good for you. Now I want to know about YOUR friendships and support networks.
Do you have a Valentine's Day hangover? Have you read a million articles and heard a million news reports about marriage and love and crazy proposal schemes and so on over the last days and weeks? Couples and romance are big news — and big business. With so much recent emphasis on the couple bond, romance, love, sex, and so on during the build-up to Valentine's Day, some other very important relationships may not have gotten their due.
Reader Ali recently asked me to recommend a discussion board for her so she can connect with other women with stepchildren online. There are so many, a couple of which I have listed on the side of my blog under "resources."
Did you ever confide in your best girlfriend about some aspect of stepfamily life that was driving you insane — rejecting, rude stepkids come to mind — only to find her looking at you like you were the Wicked Queen from Disney's Snow White? It really, really hurts when a trusted confidante doesn't get where you're coming from — or, even worse, judges you. Jacque Fletcher has taken on the task of writing up just how to be a good and supportive friend to a woman with stepkids. Pass it along to anyone you think needs to know! Also check out the podcast in which Jacque and I dish about what a good girlfriend shouldn't say to her stepmom pal: "Don't take it personally!"
From Peggy Nolan, this tip you need!! See my blog roll to the right for Peggy's site, the Stepmom's Toolbox. Full of great information, advice, and upbeat perspectives on stepmothering. Peggy Says...
Those people out in Boulder have all the fun. They get to live near the mountains, do workshops at the Naropa Institute — and get their heads adjusted by Mary Kelly-Williams. On December 15 Mary hosted a Stepmonster get-together, offering women with stepchildren company, sympathy, and insights galore. I'm told it was eye-opening and fun. Wish I could have been there. Thanks Mary for all you do for stepfamilies, and to everyone who was there! Anyone who is interested in Mary's fantastic work can check out the great advice on her website
Mary Kelly-Williams is running a support group for women with stepkids, structured in part around Stepmonster but mostly around her incredible knowledge and expertise as a stepfamily coach and therapist of 15 years. Mary is in a remarriage with children, too. Check it out — and tell your Colorado friends...
I would love your thoughts on my new piece on stepmothering for the Huffington Post: please post a comment!
One of my favorite writer/researchers on stepmothering, Jacque Fletcher, is the special guest on radio show Single Again? Now What. At 6 pm tonight. Check it out at www.SingleAgainNowWhatRadio.com
For women marrying or partnering with men with kids, the wedding or commitment ceremony can get complicated. Some women like Elizabeth Saitta (see post below) and I elope to keep it simple — while others go for the whole shindig. I get emails every week from women asking, "Do I have to invite my husband's ex to the wedding?" and "What if his kids have a meltdown?"