Permissive Mom and Dad, "Strict" Stepmom: What to Do?
Different Rules, Different Homes It can drive a woman with stepkids crazy!
Your Kids Want to Kill You: Hollywood's Psychotic Family Interlopers on Psychology Today
Have you heard about the movie Orphan? And the soon-to-be-released Stepfather? Check out my latest blog post on psychologytoday:
On National Stepfamily Day — A Stepmother's Bill of Rights
Today is National Stepfamily Day. Many thanks to Christy Borgeld, founder of National Stepfamily Day, for taking the time and putting the energy into convincing our government to recognize the centrality of stepfamilies in the U.S. today.
Now Blogging on Psychology Today
I'm now posting for psychologytoday.com about women with stepchildren. I'll be posting there weekly, and the posts will be different from the ones on my own blog. Have a read...
His kids don't like me!
Who, aside from me, remembers the academy award acceptance speech by Sally Field (for Norma Rae) which culminated in the cringe-inducing, much maligned exclamation, "You like me! You really, really like me!" as she cradled her Oscar and choked back tears?
Tell Oprah
November 16th is National Stepfamily Day. And women with stepchildren are the lynchpin of the stepfamily system — research tells us that stepmother is the most challenged and stressed stepfamily member with the most complicated adjustment process.
Great Expectations: "Don't Take It Personally!"
In my last post I considered just how unrealistic the expectation that women married to men with kids will be able to win those kids over with warmth, kindness, and good intentions alone is.
Great Expectations: Time to Get Real about What Stepmothers Can Accomplish
The expectations that others have of women with stepkids — and that we have of ourselves — are beyond huge, greater than great. They are enormous, outsized, and the root of much evil (or at least the cause of much misery and divorce).
Bad Stepmother: Stepmother Secrets and Lies
As a mother, I've felt tremendous relief and validation as writers (whether they're blogging or publishing in traditional print media) have recently blown the lid off the secrets lives and feelings of mommies. They have all my gratitude and respect for letting the cat out of the bag regarding the aspects of motherhood that were not spoken of much until recently. Like how mind-numbingly dull it can be sometimes to keep up your end of a conversation with a five-year-old, how infuriating it is to sunblock a toddler, and how you're ready for a drink (or at least a massage) by 10 a.m. some days.
Why you shouldn't put his kids first
One of the biggest points of confusion and controversy as I talk to people about Stepmonster and stepmother reality is the injunction, "Put the kids first" and "The kids should always come first" and other variations on this theme. It's become a virtual mantra since Constance Ahrons introduced the idea of "The Good Divorce" and highly cooperative co-parenting after a breakup as ideal for the kids. The members of the ex-couple, Mom and Dad, should put their differences aside, Ahrons urges, for the sake of a more harmonious "bi-nuclear family" or divorced family that spans two households. This will spare the kids from ugly, painful loyalty binds and help with their adjustment to the shattering of family life as they knew it.