Stepmonster on "AirTalk with Larry Mantle," KPCC/NPR, Los Angeles
Larry Mantle interviewed me about Stepmonster on his popular show, "AirTalk" On Tuesday, May 19. Many thanks to Larry and his callers.
Larry Mantle interviewed me about Stepmonster on his popular show, "AirTalk" On Tuesday, May 19. Many thanks to Larry and his callers.
I will be in San Francisco and L.A. to promote Stepmonster and talk about stepmother reality beginning this Sunday, May 17. My stepdaughter is coming with me for moral support and technical assistance (she's media savvy and knows how to upload photos to my blog, so this time I will have some to post. It's really way beyond me).
When the author of a classic in stepfamily studies emails you out of the blue to praise your book, it's incredibly exciting and gratifying. When she's also an expert stepfamily therapist who has made a career of saving the most endangered marriages of all — well, even more so. And when she's the person who coined the term "stepcoupling," it's reason to crow. So pardon me if I crow, for just one second. In Susan's words:
Second Wives Club is a website with great information for women with stepkids, including essays and articles on everything from parental alienation to financial planning in stepfamilies to navigating family court and understanding stepfamily architecture.
I just listened to Susan Davis Swanson's interview with parenting author Joe Bruzzese about stepfamily life. Susan, director of The Stepfamily Center in Beverly Hills, had lots of smart observations and helpful suggestions. Among them: stepmothers, feel free to step out for some fresh air, time with friends, and personal rejuvenation when his kids are around; and remember, conflict and struggle are inevitable facts of stepfamily life, not signs that you, your marriage, or your stepfamily are a failure.
Much is written about Mother's Day being a difficult day for women with stepchildren. Especially for those who came into the lives of those stepchildren when they were very young, took an active role in parenting them, and are not acknowledged on The Day. Anyone who has read my book Stepmonster knows that I am the last one who would tell those women how they "should" feel on Mother's Day, or what is "right" or "wrong" to expect from their stepchildren and husbands on that charged and overdetermined day. Women with stepchildren hear enough lectures and shoulds. It gets old when it's your feelings at stake. Time to let stepmothers just have them, without promptly shoving a list like "Ten Ways to Be a Better Stepmother" into their hands right after.
If you'd like to hear podcasts (and watch a video) of my recent NPR interviews about Stepmonster, become my fan on Facebook (go to the "About the Author" page on my website, www.wednesdaymartin.com and click on "become a fan on Facebook"). Then, when you click on "Events" on my Facebook fan page, you'll see three links for three different NPR podcasts, including the video excerpt from my interview with Brian Lehrer on WNYC.
Stepmother's Day is May 17th. Would you like a little acknowledgment?
You might know about Jacque Fletcher's terrific book, A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom, and her smart and popular blog, becomingastepmom. Jacque has been featuring Stepmonster of late — I'm so excited to have her support here, and grateful that she's helping spread the message about the emotional reality of women with stepchildren. Check out her reviews and mentions of Stepmonster, and access to a podcast she and I recently recorded at:
I recently spoke with Susan Davis-Swanson of The Stepfamily Center in Beverly Hills. Susan is a therapist and stepmother herself, and she has a truly expert, compassionate sense of what women with stepchildren and stepfamilies go through. On Mother's Day, I found her thoughts about the (impossible?) task of building a family culture where no one is an outsider especially insightful and reassuring. Susan is here addressing her remarks to those of us who are stepmothers and then have a baby of our own. The birth of a baby is an exciting, exhausting time for the mother — and a stepfamily flashpoint.